| "God saw she was getting tired, and the cure was not to be, so He put His arms around her and whispered "Come with me." With tearful eyes we watched her suffer, and saw her fade away. Although we loved her dearly, we could not make her stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands to rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best."
so it's been forever since i blogged on xanga, but i figured that today is as good a day as any. today marks 10 years. i almost can't believe it's been that long. everytime this day comes around, i can replay what happened in 1994 in my head as if it were yesterday. i know exactly what i was thinking when i woke up, exactly where i was when i found out the news....everything is still so fresh. i guess when something like this happens its imprinted in your mind forever.
but the woman my mom was the day that she died isn't the way that i choose to remember her. instead of the way her sickness had made her look or feel by this time, i choose to remember her smell, or her laugh, or even her voice....time tends to cause these memories to fade away little by little, but i try, or maybe refuse, to forget.
i wish you had all known my mom. she was the kind of person who would listen to your problems until you thought her ears would bleed. the kind of person who would sacrifice anything for her family. the kind of person with a faith so strong that it wouldn't break even with constant suffering from cancer. she is the person that inspires me everyday. if you knew her, then maybe you could understand why i try to be more and more like her everyday. maybe why i am the way i am... or maybe, if i'm lucky, just see a little part of her in me. she was so many things that i'm not- but that i wish i were. she was a wonderful woman who's life was cut too short.....but i know that any amount of time would have been "too short." it hurts sometimes to know how much she's missed in my life these past ten years....but i know she hasn't really "missed" everything....she's just viewed it all from a different place. i guess through this entry, i tried to write a tribute to my mom....but words don't do her justice anyway. i just miss her.....but that's really nothing new...i always will.
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